Proctology Anonymous Board

by smile candy bar

*This work is a work of fiction dealing with fictional events. All characters and names appearing in this work are fictional, not real. *This work contains crude language and expressions. Please keep this in mind when reading. *In order to capture the feel of chat rooms and anonymous message boards, this work does not always follow standard spelling and grammar conventions. A gathering place for people with anal pain—the Integrity Proctology Clinic message board. Even here, there are those who need anonymity for their consultations. Case #1 Mr. Im (21, male, resident of Suwon, Gyeonggi-do. Certified in sports massage) #Isn’t doing it with three people basically a job scam? - I definitely went because they said they were hiring a sports massage therapist, right? But then they just threw me a scrap of cloth that barely covered the front and my nipples and told me to put it on. And on top of that, some guy had this snake-like thing standing straight up and told me to sit on it. Turns out, that guy was Cha**, the most famous soccer player in Korea. "Hey, aren't you gonna massage here too?" "Y-You want me to massage here?" "Hey. Isn't this a muscle? Huh?" Case #2. Mr. Jeong (20, male, resident of Jangchung-dong, Seoul; has a friend of 15 years) #Wait, isn't it a universal rule that when you become an adult, your closest buddy is the one doing the asshole opening for the first time? - My brilliant law school friend Min—seriously, the smartest person I know—told me that on your coming-of-age day, your best friend is supposed to “open you up,” you know?! So for that day, Min and I practiced so hard together! "Yeon. Once we do this today, we'll be reborn as truly real friends." “Yeah! For the sake of our friendship, I’ll do anything you tell me!” "Call me Master." Case #3. Mr. Kang (23, male, resident of Yeonsinnae, Seoul; returning student) #You lot just don't know the joy of taking it up the asshole - You guys are so damn soft, whining just because it hurts down there. That’s only because you’ve never tasted what it’s like to take a few c**ks up your ass. Didn’t I ever tell you about my time in the army? I’m the kind of guy who could take care of himself even there. …Well, I did have to work a bit to lure in the juniors, though. "I think a snake bit my butt!" "I'll use my c**k to sweep out the remaining venom!" Case #4. Mr. Park (30, male, resident of Ilsan, Gyeonggi Province; workaholic legal professional) #Is it possible to restore the size of an anus? - I ended up meeting my brother-in-law at my younger sibling’s formal family meeting, and he was just so pretty I completely fell for him at first sight. While helping him in the bathroom—he was bent over with his pants down—I… ended up making a mistake without even realizing it. Ah, what am I supposed to do when my in-law is just that pretty? Anything that resembles my in-law looks beautiful! Loving him too much was the problem…. "Prosecutor, please use my hole." "Crazy Dog's Mouth! Once it bites, it never lets go—that's what it means! You've just been bitten by me, in-law!"

Officially licensed English translation